I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He did a backflip because drugs
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
