Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
