I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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