My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
