I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
