only if we run a train.
done.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Randomize
