You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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