the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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