I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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