I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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