I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
