You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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