Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
