Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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