Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Hippo gnu deer
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
