You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
