she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Drake has all the answers
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
