it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
