there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
