My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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