She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
