my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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