A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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