ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize