My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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