I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize