she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize