So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize