this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize