if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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