I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
