So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
