this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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