i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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