Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
