I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
