garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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