Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
