I just threw up on my dentist
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
