If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
