Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
