Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
