So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
