I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
