I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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