Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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