my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize