he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize