Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
