the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
