just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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