you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
ok first of all what the fuck
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize