My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
