We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
