My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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