I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
