i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
