Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
