We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
