And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
