Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
