quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
