5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
