Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
