i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize