Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
