Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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