That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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