my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize